“We love you!” is a phrase we all want to hear, but not all of us have the same way of showing it. If your partner has autism or ADHD, then they may need some help learning how to love in ways that feel good for them. Fortunately, there are many ways that you can show your partner more love – and here are just 9 of them:
Gifting you things you like
Gifting you things you like is a great way to show your love. The gift can be anything material, and it can be given to you or to other people. The important thing is that the gift shows thoughtfulness and consideration for your needs and interests. Gifts can be given as surprises, or they can be planned ahead of time. You may have certain things in mind for birthdays or holidays, but if you don’t know what those are yet–or if someone else doesn’t know what those are yet–then gifting will still work out just fine! Gifts don’t need to be limited by season either; there’s no rule saying that gifts must only come during Christmas time (or Hanukkah). If someone gives me something when I’m feeling down on my luck in January because they know how much I love chocolate chip cookies from our local bakery while they’re still warm from being baked fresh earlier that morning…well then that person deserves extra credit points!
Sharing their interest with you
If your loved one is an autistic or ADHD person, it’s very important to share their interests with them. You can do this by providing information about your own interests, asking them about their own interests and joining them in an activity related to those interests. For example: “I really enjoy learning about how computers work.” Or “I like reading books on psychology.” Or even just asking questions such as “What do you like doing?”
Researching things you like
It’s important to make sure that you know what your partner likes, and that they feel comfortable discussing their preferences with you. If you have an autistic partner, they may not be able to express themselves verbally or nonverbally as easily. You can encourage them by asking questions like:
- “What do you like?”
- “What would make this better?”
- “How was your day?”
Helping you with things
As an autistic person, you may find that your partner wants to help with things you can’t do for yourself. This could include helping you dress or put on makeup, cooking meals that are challenging for you to prepare, doing laundry when it’s hard for you to sort out the clothes by color and size–or even just cleaning up after dinner so that there’s less work for everyone else in the house. Your ADHD partner may want to help with things that are difficult for them as well (and possibly frustrating). For example: if they feel like their inability to focus means they’re not good at keeping track of bills or organizing files; if they get bored easily when doing repetitive tasks like filing paperwork; or if something feels overwhelming because there are too many options available at once (like how Netflix makes us feel!).
Parallel play and body doubling
Parallel play and body doubling are the two most common types of love languages that autistic people use to express affection. Parallel play is when two people play side-by-side, but not interacting with each other. For example, if you’re playing video games with someone and they want to sit next to you even though there are plenty of other open seats in the room, that’s parallel play! It might seem like a weird thing for them to do at first glance–but once you understand their need for closeness (even if it isn’t physical), then this behavior makes more sense. Body doubling is another way your loved ones may try connecting with you by mirroring what they see as important parts of themselves: their movements or facial expressions when they talk about something they care about; how they walk down stairs; even how fast they eat food! This can be especially helpful if there’s something specific that makes it hard for an autistic person like yourself
Asking questions
Asking questions is a great way to show interest. It can be as simple as asking about their interests, or what they are doing, or how their day was, or what plans they have for the future. You might also ask about their family and friends–the people that mean the most to them in life.
Spending time with you
Spending time with you is a sign of love. It can be hard for people to spend time with others, but it’s important that they do. Spending time together in any way will help strengthen your relationship and make both of you feel loved and cared for. Spending time with someone doesn’t have to mean going out on a date or going on vacation together–there are many other ways that people spend time together! For example:
- Talking on the phone or texting each other every day (or at least once or twice a week)
- Having dinner at home where both of you cook something different from what you usually prepare, so it feels like an adventure into new flavors and dishes!
Infodumping and deep pressure hugs (can also be given by parents)
You may be familiar with the term “infodumping,” which is when someone gives you a lot of information at once. It’s like they’re dumping it on you and expecting you to understand it all at once, even though that’s impossible for most people. It might also seem like deep pressure hugs are just a way to get closer to someone else–but this isn’t true either! Deep pressure hugs involve putting all your weight into the hug and rocking back and forth for a few minutes before letting go (or maybe even longer). They can help autistic people feel safe and secure because they give us something that feels like home: the feeling of being held by Mommy or Daddy when we were little children who couldn’t protect ourselves from danger yet needed protection anyway!
The best way to tell if someone is your love language is to ask them. They may not know, but they will be able to tell you if they feel loved by something specific in your relationship. For example, I might say “I love it when you listen to me talk” or “I feel so safe with you.” That way, you can figure out what their language is and start using it more often!
